and other amusing things
(yeah, it's a church thing)
BOWING - Simple Bow
[x] At the name of Jesus
[x] Toward the processional/recessional cross
[ ] Toward the Gospel book during the processional
[ ] When saying, "And also with you"
[ ] Toward the priest during the pro/recessional
[x] Toward the bishop during the pro/recessional
[x] At the Gloria Patri
[ ] Why the heck should I bow?
BOWING - Profound Bow or Genuflection
[x] When entering/leaving a pew (if Sacrament is reserved)
[x] When approaching or leaving the altar
[x] During the Nicene Creed at the Incarnatus: From "he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and was made man" through "he suffered death and was buried."
[x] At the Sanctus: "Holy, holy, holy..."
[ ] At the words of institution
[ ] After the words of institution
[ ] Again, why the heck should I bow or genuflect, huh?
SIGN OF THE CROSS+
[x ] Up, down, left, right (RC)
[x] Up, down, left, right, heart (Anglican)
[ ] Up, down, right, left, heart (Orthodox)
[x] At every mention of "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" (or similar form)
[x] At the end of the Gloria: "You alone are the most high - Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit, in the +Glory of God the Father."
[x] When using Holy Water, entering and leaving the church
[x] At the opening of the liturgy
[ ] At the Gospel Proclamation - Regular way
[x] At the Gospel Proclamation - Forehead, Heart, Mouth
[x] At the final clause of the Nicene Creed: "we look for the +resurrection of the dead..."
[x] During prayers for the departed (if "Rest eternal grant to them..." or similar is used)
[x] At the absolution after confession
[x] At the Sanctus: "Blessed is he who comes in the Name of the Lord."
[ ] During the Words of Institution
[x] At the Elevations after the Words of Institution
[x] When the celebrant says, "sanctify us also..."
[x] Before receiving Holy Communion
[x] After receiving Holy Communion
[x] At the blessing/dismissal
[ ] At the Lord's Prayer: "and deliver us from evil."
[ ] When passing by a church whilst on the street (sometimes)
[x] At the beginning of the Magnificat, Benedictus, or Nunc Dimittis
[ ] I don't do the sign of the cross because my sign is listed in the horoscope.
KNEELING
[x] Before the service begins
[x] During the Penitential Order during Lent
[x] At the confession of sin
[x] During the prayers of the people
[x] During the Eucharistic prayer
[x] While receiving Holy Communion
[x] The post-Communion prayer and blessing
[ ] I don't kneel, my knees hurt.
THE SIGN OF PEACE
[ ] The Peace - Important (but please don't use this time for an extended get-to-know-you conversation!)
[ ] The Peace - Enjoyable
[x] The Peace - Awkward and irritating
[ ] Um, yeah, excuse me, but I don't know you.
[ ] Get away from me you pervert!
THE SERMON
[x] Roll eyes during a dumb sermon
[ ] Smile politely during a dumb sermon
[x] Do a crossword puzzle during a too-long sermon
[ ] Applaud, hoot, or holler at a good point during a sermon
[ ] Give an "Amen" during a sermon
[ ] Take down notes during a good sermon
[ ] Fall asleep during the sermon
ADMINISTRATION AND RECEPTION OF THE EUCHARIST
[ ] Intinction (if I've got an obvious mouth/throat infection)
[x] Sipping or wetting lips from chalice
[ ] Handing over host to be intincted by chalice bearer or acolyte
[ ] "Ewwww, nasties!"
THE PRIEST
[ ] Ignore the priest after the service
[x] Shake the priest's hand after the service
[ ] Hug the priest after the service
[ ] Give the priest a kiss on the cheek after the service
[ ] *speaks in a sulty voice* "Hey pops, wanna listen to my confession? I'm all alone at home this evening."
MUSIC
[x] Traditional music
[ ] Contemporary music
[ ] Have the cantor and choir shut up NOW.
THE BIBLE
[ ] King James Version
[ ] Bishop's Bible
[ ] Coverdale Bible
[x] Revised Standard Version
[x] New Revised Standard Version
[ ] New International Version
[ ] Message Bible
[ ] Comic books and mags are my Bible
COFFEE HOUR
[ ] Coffee hour = heaven (though the coffee itself is often dire)
[ ] Coffee hour = hell
[ ] Coffee hour = necessary evil
[ ] Coffee hour = near occasion of sin
[x] Coffee hour only when there's sherry/alcohol
[ ] I'd rather cozy up at Bucky's with the rector or vicar
THE BISHOP
[x] Kissing episcopal rings
[ ] Just shaking bishop's hand
CHURCH ATTIRE
[ ] Casual at church
[ ] Semi-formal at church
[x] Formal at church
[ ] G-string and body fur
FIRE AND SMOKE
[x] Prefer incense
[ ] Incense = can't breathe
[ ] Incense = major headache
[x] Light candles
[ ] I don't trust myself; I'll burn the church down.
DIGNUM ET JUSTUM EST
[x] "It is right to give Him thanks and praise."
[ ] "It is right to give our thanks and praise."
[ ] "It is right to give God thanks and praise."
[ ] "It is right to offer thanks and praise."
[x] Ah, screw it. "It is meet and right so to do."
THE PATER NOSTER
[X] "Our Father, who art in heaven."
[ ] "Our Father in heaven."
[ ] "Our Abba in heaven."
[ ] "Our Mother in heaven."
[ ] "Yo pops, with yer bling-bling."
WORSHIP SPACE
[ ] Solitary worship
[ ] Small parish
[ ] Medium parish
[x] Large parish
[x] Cathedral
[ ] Mission/chaplaincy
[ ] Megachurch
[ ] Anywhere "as long as the word is rightly preached, and the sacraments faithfully administered"
[ ] Can't be arsed to go to church
SACRAMENTALS
[x] Use the Dominican rosary
[ ] Use the Anglican rosary
[ ] Use an Orthodox prayer rope
[ ] Use a Franciscan Crown, the seven-decade Dominican rosary
[ ] Use Sacrifice Beads
[ ] Use Prayer stones
[ ] I use the rosaries/prayer beads for other means (i.e. strangulating people)
[ ] Venerate icons
[ ] Iconoclastic tendencies (or maybe I'm just not a visual or touch-y person)
OTHER - JUST FOR FUN
[x] Saying the filioque clause during the Nicene Creed
[ ] Whispering "My Lord and My God" at the elevation of the consecrated elements
[ ] Extending your arms when saying, "And also with you"
[ ] Strike breast during Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our sins..."
[x] Strike breast at any petition for forgiveness and pardon
[ ] Strike breast when saying "Lord, I am not worthy to receive You..."
[ ] Slap yourself in dismay when the priest says something stupid
[ ] Trip someone in the procession and pretend you didn't do it.
THE SACRAMENTS
[x] Transubstantiational Eucharist
[ ] Consubstantiational Eucharist
[ ] Holy Mystery Eucharist
[ ] Symbolic/Remembrance Eucharist
[ ] Cookies 'n juice time!
[ ] "Ooooh, refreshments!"
NUMBER OF SACRAMENTS
[ ] 2 Sacraments
[x] 7 Sacraments
[ ] 8 Sacraments
[ ] 2 Sacraments and 5 Sacramental Rites
[ ] Coffee hour
[ ] I don't call them sacraments; I call them ordinances!
[ ] The number is undefined
WHAT IS AN EPISCOPALIAN/ANGLICAN?
[ ] Catholic
[ ] Protestant
[x] Both
[ ] Neither
THEOLOGY
[x] High Church/Anglo-Catholic/Anglo-Orthodox
[ ] Broad Church
[ ] Low Church
[ ] Charismatic
[ ] Evangelical
[ ] Restorationist, as to restoring the pre-Reformation Catholic traditions of Anglicanism
[x] Affirming/Accepting
[ ] Welcoming, but seeking to preach the truth with love
[ ] Progressive
[x] Conservative
[ ] Post-modern
[ ] Liberal
[ ] Moderate
[x] Traditional, theologically speaking
CALVINISM VS. ARMINIANISM
[ ] Calvinist
[ ] Arminian
[x] Neither position
[ ] I don't care.
THE TRINITY
[ ] Creator, Redeemer, Sanctifer
[x] Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
[ ] Source, Saviour, and Procession
[ ] Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver
[ ] Buddha, Dharma, Sangha
THE BLESSED VIRGIN
[x] The Blessed Virgin was immaculately conceived
[x] The Blessed Virgin was assumed into heaven
[ ] The Blessed Virgin "fell asleep"
[ ] The Blessed Virgin was prepared during her life with special grace to be pure and holy for the birth to Jesus
[ ] The Blessed Virgin is ever-virgin
[x] Good ole Mary and Joe had a bucket of kiddies
[ ] The Blessed Virgin is present in the Eucharist because by the power of the Holy Spirit her Son took our flesh from the Blessed Mother, and because his Body and Blood is present in the Bread and Cup, she is present in a special but not real way
[ ] The Blessed Virgin is co-redemptrix with her Son
[ ] The Blessed Virgin fell asleep, was buried, and three days later was resurrected and taken bodily to heaven, a foretaste of what will be for all who are in Christ.
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