ROFLMAO

Ted Haggard is "Completely Heterosexual"

A minister on the treatment team and oversight board for Ted Haggard told The Denver Post this week that homosexual adulterer Haggard "is completely heterosexual."

Haggard, the flamboyant former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, confidant of the Bush White House, and former leader of Colorado Springs' New Life Church 14,000-member megachurch, was forced out of his jobs last year when the male prostitute he regularly used for both sex and as a source of methamphetamine went public.

The ministerial treatment team is so convinced that Haggard is heterosexual and that his problems were "acting-out" behaviors that "[weren't] a constant thing," that they have recommended that Haggard and his family leave town and they have "strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work."

Sometimes I think I should become an Evangelical. Their communion grape juice must be better than LSD!